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The good, bad, and the miserable (By Alex)

by on July 1, 2016

Today, we took a tour to The Bush. The Bush is the section of Australia in between major metropolitan areas on the coast (Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Perth, Gold Coast, etc.) and the outback. The area we went to was close to Gold Coast, and was a rainforest. We left the hotel/serviced apartment at 7:10, to be greeted by a guy who had a MASSIVE beard. For some reason, the tour guides like huge red beards. This is not the first time. On the tour, there were 7 people total, the other 2 besides us German. I almost think that there are more German tourists than Chinese (which apparently 40% of all tourists are Chinese, which I think seems a tiny bit low). They speak English better than Americans. Anyway, I’ll get back on topic. We turned the corner, and saw a Toyota Land Cruiser that was ancient. Ancient as in there were no airbags, and seatbelts were not required. We thought it was a little bit wierd, and I wondered where we would sit. Then, he opened the back door, and invited us in. This is probably the first time that I sat legally in the back trunk of a car. No offence to the designers, no sorry, offence to the designers, but the seats would be classified under the last two categories in the title. Bad and miserable.  They were sideways, and they felt like church pews that had a seatbelt [citation needed]. I would consider ropes that were attempting to be a seatbelt, but would still cause us to fly around the Land Cruiser if anything happened. Also, the car had a “suspension” system that could cause in the car to feel the pea in the Princess and the Pea story. It was virtually non-existent. A 3 year old could make a better suspension using a slinky. We drove down to Gold Coast (a city), to pick up a girl who had been teaching somewhere in Australia, whose teaching job ended, and she was touring Australia. 3 guesses where she was from. If your answer was Germany, you are correct. How could you have guessed?

On smooth freeways motorways,  I felt like I was 4x4ing on a scooter. You can just imagine what the country roads were like. Actually, you can not, because nothing was as bad/miserable. Luckly, we had a good tour guide. We did some hiking and saw some waterfalls. In total we walked somewhere between 5 and 6 kilometers. Lunch (which it said was provided) consisted of the world’s largest single piece of bread, with some weird form of paper that they identified as ham, and another weird form of paper that apparently was cheese. 

Overall, the tour was good, but that did not make up for the unexcusable conditions of the car and lunch. None of this was our tourguide’s fault, it is all the fault of the company. The company apparently is owned by the son of the founder who is completely oblivious to anything going on, and the manager is out of town. 

The teacher wanted to see a Koala, because apparently, she has not seen any in Australia during her time here, but we did not see any. There were some trees that had been struck by lightning, which was cool to see. The tour ended with fudge, which was amazing. I got caramel cream. We got so sick of the truck that we asked to be dropped off at Gold Coast train station. We took the train back, which was super smooth. This is what we did today.


David: Wow, Alex was on a roll with that post, so I won’t attempt to insert photos into it.  Everything he said is true, and we did have a nice day seeing the World Heritage rainforests that date back to the original Gondwanaland continent before Australia broke off.  We saw great waterfalls and amazing views, along with spiders that will kill you, plants that will put you in the hospital for a month, and vines that strangle and kill their host trees.  Australia is a brutal place.

Flight to Cairns tomorrow morning.

Here are photos:

With our German friends



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  1. Doug permalink

    Great description of the Land Cruiser. Good machine. No picture?

  2. Janet Howes permalink

    Where is the picture of the car! Loved the description

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